“At your highest moment, be careful, that's when the devil comes for you'' wise words spoken by Denzel Washington. I cannot imagine truer words, hence our duty as individuals, to always be in control of “self.” The truth is we have no idea when our “highest moment” comes, therefore we must ensure that we are always ready for it. As an individual, I don't have control over other people, their actions, and their responses. However, I always get to control my response to outside stimuli. I’m sure everyone knows that during the 92nd Oscars, Will Smith went from laughing to walking onto the stage and hitting Chris Rock in the face. All this happened in a matter of minutes, in front of everyone who was at the Oscars, and millions of people watching across the globe. Last week my friend’s 78-year-old mum asked her “why is a grown man being slapped on National TV?”
Driving my children to school is one of the most important things in my life, something that I do not like to delegate. The only time I don't get to drive my children to school is when I'm traveling. Sleepless nights, emotions or other things life throws at me are insufficient to keep me from happily driving two of the most important people in my life. Mornings don't usually start off perfect, on most days I'm frustrated because I have to wait 5-10 minutes before both kids are in the car. If you live in the Bay Area, you probably know the morning commute on I-80 West is rough and understand the difference 5-10 minutes can make. However, I always make it a point to switch my attitude, to positive, for the simple reason that I never ever want to send off any of my kids feeling bad about themselves, that they are bad or not enough.
Each time we get in the car to go to school, I know I always remind my children who they are, what defines them, their worth, and whose they are. We normally start off with a moment of silence/ reflection and thankfulness. Then we move on to a teaching moment from mum, the Lord’s Prayer, after which we do declarations. I normally ask each of them if they know they are loved? I always remind them that circular education is very important but should never be used as an acceptable measure of their intelligence capabilities.
The week before the Oscars we talked about, Self-Control, what it is, why it’s important how costly losing it can be. I always remind my children, especially my son that Self Control can make or break a man. As always, I started this (Self Control) lesson with a question. I said “son,” and he responded as he always does “Yes Mother.” I continued, “do you know what the most powerful thing you can ever have, as a man and as a human being is?” Needless to say, he responded with his usual random jokester, Nathan response. I have always taught my kids, especially my son, that choosing self-control is better than apologizing. I always remind my kids that they are unconditionally loved, that they will always be forgiven loved no matter what they did in life. Additionally, I have also taught them that there is a “but” in that statement. I have always warned them that the lack of self-control ultimately erodes self-respect and self-love.
I continued “Darling, the most important powerful attribute you can possess is Self-Control.” I continued by saying that a man can have everything and lose it all if he is unable to control himself. I told them (Nathan Nathalie) that having self-control will keep them from bad perpetual habits, which consequently lead to addiction. Every time a human being gives in to an urge, it takes more to satisfy the same urge the next time. I told my pubescent son “your hormones are kicking in, and those come with sexual urges. You can never give in to every one of those urges because it will destroy you.” He is 14, and going through puberty, so I always go there. I always teach my son how valuable self-control is, especially for him as a black boy, who is becoming a man in America.
I urge everyone reading this to exercise and ultimately strengthen their self-control muscles. It’s the best thing you can ever do for yourself, yourself, your loved ones, and the future generations. The inability to control oneself is very costly, it will rob you of your joy, peace, glory, and moments of celebration. As we recently witnessed what happened with Will Smith. As some of you may know last week, he (Will Smith) resigned from the academy, this week the beleaguered actor was banned from attending the Oscars for 10 years! If you ask me, that is erroneous! But then again once we lose our self-control, we cannot control the outcome.
Let us all aim to be examples of those who controlled themselves when the opportunity to lose self-control was set before them. Additionally, we must never ever gloat when someone falls. Instead, we must watch, learn, from their mistakes. As we all witnessed, Mr. Smith losing self-control is very costly.
