How do you have a healthy relationship and what are realistic expectations in a relationship? Imagine meeting the love of your life on the Christian dating site Funky Fish. Now you want to build a good relationship with each other as a couple in love. But what does a healthy, lasting relationship look like? Read tips here on how to have a good and happy relationship.
To begin, it's helpful to know that no relationship is 100 percent perfect. You cannot shape your relationship and your love (or your partner) entirely according to your ideas and ideas. What you can do about it is train yourself in the art of loving. A healthy and happy relationship is based on knowledge (knowing what love is) and action (putting love into practice).
Scientific studies have shown that most relationships break up for the following reasons:
· Romanticizing too much: the assumption that a relationship always has to be great and exciting and that love is above all a feeling (feeling gone = end of the relationship)
· No acceptance of the partner's difference
· underestimate the importance of friendship as a basis for intimacy
· A lack of personal willingness to invest in the relationship to maintain it
This means that it is essential for a healthy relationship:
· To have realistic expectations: to recognize that annoyances and everyday things are also part of a relationship and that love does not always come with the same feeling.
· To accept the other person as he/she is
· make your friendship grow with each other
· Investing time in working together on the relationship to improve it
Now let's look at some characteristics of healthy relationships in which the above aspects are present.
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Daily care and habit formation
A relationship needs daily care in the form of an open, constructive, and willing attitude toward the other person. Additionally, habit formation is important. Repetition leads to the formation of well-rehearsed behavior patterns. Positive patterns are healthy and important for your relationship. Anything that brings you both joy is suitable for forming this habit: cooking together, exercising, or going for a walk.
Commonalities
The more things you have in common with the other person, the fewer reasons there are for conflicts or disagreements. This is about similarities in the area of origin, personality, values and norms, worldview, social status, intelligence, interests, humor, and political attitudes. Partners who are similar to each other in these respects understand each other better. This in turn strengthens their sense of security and togetherness.
Empathy and understanding
Mutual understanding is one of the foundations of a relationship. The basis for this is fair and equal treatment of one another. The capacity to place oneself in another person's position is known as empathy. When you show empathy, the other person feels understood, valued, and accepted. To enable empathy, it is necessary to constantly coordinate mutual feelings and thoughts.
Openness and honesty
Talking openly about feelings and thoughts is one of the best prerequisites for quality relationships in the long term. Honest, open people and people with integrity realistically look at themselves and others. You are open to feedback and do not react aggressively. In the event of a confrontation or argument, they question their behavior and their truth instead of counterattacking. They have no secrets from their partner.
Attention and affection
If you show genuine interest in the way your partner thinks and lives, this will have a positive impact on your relationship. When you give conscious attention, you acknowledge that you are aware of the other. Your partner laughs at you and you laugh back. You observe something your partner is showing you with curiosity. Your partner says something and you react to it. Another important way to give attention is to show affection: regularly touching or caressing your partner and giving a hug or a kiss.
Support and sympathy
Supporting each other improves the quality of relationships: shared joy is double the joy, and shared suffering is half the suffering. Compassion is especially important when there are positive developments and good news, such as successes at work or good results from a medical examination. A neutral response can give the impression that you don't care. If bad events get too much attention, it can damage the relationship.
Good communication
In a healthy relationship, you feel safe to express and share your feelings and thoughts. Express yourself in the I form instead of the Thou form. If you start your sentence with “You...” you are (directly) accusing your partner. Saying anything along the lines of, "You never give me a chance!", is an aggressive approach, not a confident one. Your partner can then close themselves off, deny everything, or counterattack. You should therefore use first-person sentences, such as: 'I often feel like you don't take me seriously.'
Common challenges
No relationship can escape a certain daily grind. That's why it's important to accept everyday things, they're part of every relationship. In addition, it is good to consciously break the routine and routine now and then. Happy couples invest in their relationship and keep it alive by surprising each other now and then or doing something new together. A brief change in circumstances can work wonders because it increases mutual sympathy and attraction. A shared experience stimulates feelings of infatuation and rekindles romance. A new memory is created together and this has a positive impact on your relationship.
